Marriage Myths Busted #4

Marriage Myth #4 is "It doesn't matter where you get the appetite as long as you come home to eat." It is used to excuse behavior that is inherently threatening to marriage. It means, "You can lust after anything you that pleases you as long as you don't engage in physical adultery." Given the state of marriage and divorce in our country and given the fact that extramarital sexual activity still remains a leading cause in divorce, it doesn't seem that this little mantra has served us very well.

Christians are certainly expected to remain faithful to their spouse. Our text was Matthew 5:27-28 where Jesus reminds us that lust is the same as adultery in God's eyes. He says there that adultery begins and ends in our minds. We looked at David's affair with Bathsheba and remarked that he not only allowed his gaze to linger where it should not have but he also preserved the image of her body in his mind to sexually feast on. That "lust" led him to inquire about her, send for her and then commit adultery with her. Later David's son Solomon recalling the devastation that David's adultery and his tragic attempts to cover his sin caused his family tells his sons in Proverbs ch. 5 to stay away from adultery and to delight in the wife of their youth.

We discussed making a plan to deal with temptations that are inevitable for most of us. The three point plan we discussed is below:
1. Avoid temptation rich environments - including attractive people and the internet
2. Avert the eyes - control where you look intentionally avoiding sexual images
3. Keep the flame alive at home - a strong marriage is the best defense against infidelity

We also pointed out that the internet can be a menacing tool for the enemy with its many sexual images and its opportunities to anonymously connect to others in a sexual way. Sixty percent of all married people in one survey admitted to having some sort of extramarital sexual/romantic connection on the internet. We stated that we need to begin considering the possibilty that an open, unfiltered connection to the internet might be a threat to our marriages.

We also listed four keys to faithfulness and they are below:
1. Discipline the mind - don't allow sexual images or scenarios to dwell there.
2. Accountibility - meet with someone to discuss, confess and pray for each other in dealing with temptations.
3. Do the work of marriage - A strong marriage is the best defense against infidelity
4. Know the heartache of failure - know from the experience of others that adultery and sexual sin will devastate your family.

We closed by pointing out that if someone were to break into your home with the known intent of devastating your family you would do harm to them or give your own life to stop them. We need to consider sexual temptation as just such an invader in your marriage and family. Be determined that Satan will not get to your family through you.

Be watching this week for the final Marriage Myth to be Busted!