Marriage Myth #2

Marriage Myth #2 is - "Conflict in Marriage is a Sign of Big Trouble"

The truth is that conflict in marriage is both normal and healthy as long as the conflict is being resolved. We discussed a three step strategy for resolving conflict.
1. Think before you speak - plan to resolve a conflictual situation rather than react to it. Most of what we say when angry or hurt is stuff we have to apologize for anyway.
2. Seek to understand the perspective of the other - recognize that both have a perspective and it is important to see the discussion from the other's perspective. Understanding it does not necessarily mean you agree with it.
3. Clear emotion from the discussion first by listening and understanding why the other might have an emotional attachment to the issue.
Unresolved conflict can be a marriage killer. It builds up over time and numbs any positive emotion in the relationship. It is important enough that those marriages who struggle with unresolved conflict should seek counseling when repeated attempts to resolve it fail.

Look back later this week for a clue to Marriage Myth #3.